Saturday, December 25, 2010


Ah. I am in a bit of a pickle. Tomorrow night I am supposed to leave home with my three best friends for Kansas City. We're all headed to the One Thing convention there. It's an amazing convention that has quite a few powerful speakers. The kind that offend you, but in a good way. Doesn't sound like a pickle much, right? Well. The pickle part is that Big Brother, Danny, left for Australia in July. He came home on the 19th of December, and is leaving the 2nd of January. We aren't getting back until the 1st, and then I won't see him until June. That means that in the course of 11 months, I will have seen the only person that can make me super happy, super angry, laugh, cry, and confused within seconds, for only 7 days. Seven days out of eleven months. I'll probably need to make a list of pro's and con's.

On another note, my Christmas was super great! I had a really interesting talk with my brother about faith, and my sister gave my whole family matching pajamas. She totally sniped my idea for next year, but I am so okay with that on account of the fact that we all had MATCHING JAMMIES!

Pro's of Kansas City.

1. Road trip with the (3) besties! (If we all get to take one car that is!)

2. Life changing time with God. (Major points here.)

3. I've never been to Kansas City before!

Pro's of staying home.

1. Spend an extra seven days with Big Brother and Ma and Pa.

2. Go to Big Sky, with some great people (one bestie!), after Big Brother leaves.

3. Relax at home before the hustle and bustle of school starts again.

4. Have time to make journals!

Ahh. I can't decide right now. This will definitely take more prayer, but I only have until tomorrow afternoon! Well. Wish me luck.

Big Sister, Karrie, and her family. And yes, this is one of those pictures that is exactly what the family is like in real life. Spicy Niece #2, Kiera, is always the show-stealer.

Big Sister, Karrie and me in front of the tree after church on Christmas Eve.

All of the girls in our matching jammies. Please excuse the fact that I slept in mine and just rolled out of bed forty seconds before this picture was taken. I am not a morning person.

All of the boys in their matching jams. I hate that they get to look better in the morning. Especially my daddy in the middle!

Fail one up top, and takes one and two for the real deal down below.

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 18, 2010


I've had this discussion probably 16 times in the last five days, I swear. People are taking the Christ out of Christmas, and with that all of the true meaning of the season. People are losing love and happiness and sharing and joy and so many things that God brings to Toy-R-Us and stress. We shouldn't stress about buying the most expensive gift, or the more outrageous present for someone. We should delight in the joy of being able to give to someone, whether that's a pie in a jar (something I've seen a ton of this Christmas!), or a notebook that you've filled with affirmations and memories and drawings, or a new car. It's not about toys and presents and food- all fun things though. Christmas is about the Son of God being born of a miracle to come and save us. It's so easily over looked. Go back and read that. Read it slowly. Take in every word. See if it hits your heart differently when you spend a few minutes meditating on the thought as opposed to just knowing it. Breathtaking, right? Okay. Well that was a little rant that I needed to go on. I know it's been said 21,342,300 times, yeah it's popular, but I just wanted to say it again. Partly for myself! I got caught up in finding the perfect present this year for everyone on my list. Well I went a little overboard for the first few people on the list and ran out of money for the last. Good thing my brother has been out of the country for six months and misses simple things like good chocolates and eggnog. So here are a few things that I've done for Christmas this year that I'm excited about.

1. For Jesus: Dedicated an hour (minimum!) every morning to reading and praying.

2. For Mom: The perfect shirt for the cowgirl she thinks she is, and the town girl that she really is.

3. For Daddy: The childhood toy that s t o p p e d him in tracks in the mall.

4. For Big Brother: The comforts of home: chocolate, homemade eggnog, and a gift card for a charity!

5. For Big Sister and Husband: A great event in the Cities sans kids with free babysitting!

6. For Niece #1: The niftiest, quickest, homemade ice cream machine ever!

7. For Niece #2: Our little chef got a cupcake baker from Aunt Thea and a cook book from Uncle Dan!

8. For Best Friend: Ah, the creative writer. A Women of the Bible book and another book on how to make your own journals! (They're super great and I'll probably be posting the process and end results later!)

9. For Boy Best Friend: A homemade journal. Ha.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Collection of Loves

1. A secret love:

2. A love that I'm no good at:

3. A love song that I love the lyrics to:

"Someday You Will Be Loved"

4. A nerdy love:

Making graphs and tables.

5. A love I got from my dad:

6. A love I got from my mom:

7. A love I haven't done yet:

8. A love that's very difficult for me to do:

9. A love I miss:

10. A love I'll be doing in 34 seconds:

Good night world.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Why I love my best friend

1. Our grandma's have the same names: Lorraine and Marguerite. Plus we have the same, albeit common, middle name: Marie.
Brooke's photo of her Grandma Pearl (Lorraine)

2. She is one of the kindest people I've ever met. She helps out people who need it, she would give you the shirt off her back, and she never expects anything in return.

Brooke's photo of her with some friends she met at the William's Syndrome Convention!

3. She loves to have fun. We have done everything from running around Main St. in our skivvies in fifth grade, to driving to Perkins at 12:30 a.m., to getting stuck in snow banks multiple times (in one trip). She has a great laugh and loves to use it often!

Brooke's photo of her and I being Mei-Mei and Spirit Heart Woman.
4. She loves J e s u s. This woman is a strong woman of God, and He is working through in the most wonderful ways. Not only does she love Jesus, but because of that she is able to be a much better friend than she could on her own.

Brooke's photo.
5. She is always there for anyone. She is the person I call in the middle of the night when something's going wrong for me, and she's the same for other people as well. She mentored students when we were in high school, and she did more than just go to work every day. She put her whole heart into those kids, and was always there when they needed her, especially outside of the hours she was getting paid.

Brooke's photo with a girl she mentored, Becca.

6. She is a strong woman. Her family has been through more than any one family I know, and yet she still gets up smiling every day. Not only has she been able to take care of herself beautifully, but like I said in point five, she is there for everyone else who needs her as well.

Brooke's photo of her with her niece when her neck was broken.

7. She takes things too far. This is one of her little quirks that makes her hilariously lovable. Whenever everyone's joking, she's usually the one that goes just a little too far and makes everyone laugh hysterically at how awkward she can be.

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Brooke's photo of her going too far while Noah's doing homework.

8. She is up for almost anything. She is not afraid to try something new. She loves to try new foods, go to foreign places by herself, and meet new people. She makes growing up in a small town look more exciting than being an adult in a city with everything.

Brooke's photo of her when she flew to Italy by herself.

9. She is so easy to be around. I have lived with this girl for three years (maybe the first year we both technically lived at home) and I have never experienced an awkward moment with her. Well, none that had to do with being uncomfortable with each other. But you don't have to live with her to be comfortable. She can make anyone feel at ease in any situation.
A photo of Brooke with people she barely knows. Easy going.

10. She has beautiful, thick, long, rich hair. And stunning gray-blue eyes. And really nicely shaped eyebrows. And a very fashionable and eclectic sense of style. And a great big smile! And a beautiful womanly figure. And adorable fingers. And spectacular freckles that show up sometimes. Obviously there's much more as well, but these are my ten reasons for loving my best friend!Brooke's photo. She's such a stunner.

So here's to you Brooklynn! You are the best friend I could ever ask for and I thank God every day that I am lucky enough to have you in my life.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Things I'm looking forward to...

1. Chi Alpha on Thursday
2. Thanksgiving!
3. Seeing my big brother after 5 months
4. Spending time with my family
5. Having my research paper done with
6. Having a great day at work tomorrow (This is probably more wishful thinking, but I'll try)
7. This tummy ache to go away
8. A visit from one of my favorite aunts Maribeth this spring
9. Having no tests for awhile
10. Sleeping well tonight.

No pictures tonight...too tired.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

But they ain't got what we got...

I am so very obsessed with Angus and Julia Stone tonight. I listened to them two years ago and loved them, but since I couldn't find anywhere to download (steal) their music, I put them on the back burner and forgot about them. My brother bought their CD and at the end of the summer he put it on my computer. I am so thankful for him and his music taste. Thanks to Danny, my second CD that I (he, actually) owned was O.A.R. I still love their music, even if is a little cheesy. Now that I think about it, it was probably pretty inappropriate for a 9 year old to be singing "Crazy Game of Poker" all summer long, but I'm glad that I did. I became obsessed with Jack Johnson in 6th grade, Ben Harper in 7th. Ben Harper is still one of my favorite artists today and one of the highlights of my high school career was sitting in Row E, middle section with my big brother in Portland, OR, watching Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals and Pierre Vaccia (I'm a terrible concert go-er, but I can't exactly remember if that was his name).

I just took a little break from writing to go check out my old pictures on MySpace. Does anyone remember that? Because I do, and I miss it. It was so much more personal than Facebook. I miss it. But anyway, I think I just picked a new format for my blog. Lists. They're so easy and I make them constantly. So here's just a random collection for a list for today.

1. Angus and Julia Stone
2. Costumes
3. Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals
4. Ray LaMontange
5. My mom and dad!
6. My friends and roommates: Brooke, Bren, Jam, Hans, Dustin, Andrews, Noah
7. Mortal Combat D.C. and Settlers of Catan
8. Old MySpace pictures
9. Elephant tattoos
10. Root chips, Veggie booty, spicey oyster crackers, alf afla sprouts, Won tons.
11. Portland, OR. Humboldt, CA.

Ben Harper, MySpace.



Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Well, well

I haven't been here in awhile, and sadly there's nothing all too exciting to report in my absence. My boyfriend and I broke up, I worked at home all summer, and now I'm back at school. Nothing spectacular. It was a lot for me, but pretty boring for everyone else.

I am obsessed with Band of Horses. All of their songs have so much meaning in them. They're not just lame pop songs, but you can still sing along. Listening to them makes my heart hurt though. The last time that I listened to them was with my big brother and parents on our car trip to Washington and back. We played their cd at least 6 times on the combined four day trip. One of the memories that I hold close to me from that trip was driving through the western part of Montana and Idaho in the Rockies. Danny, my brother, was driving and I had just woken up from a nap. I opened my eyes to bright afternoon sunshine. Even the air in the car felt more crisp in the mountains. Danny and I just sat in the car, coasting through the twists and turns in silence.
Growing up, there was so much tension between us. I was always annoying and Danny was always angry so there were rarely moments of calm. It took years and many miles between us for us to finally get to a place where we can enjoy each other's company. My brother has spent the last four years of his life living in California. I get to see him twice a year, albeit for an extended period of time. When he first started coming home for a month in summer or over Christmas, I was always excited at first, but ready for him to leave by the end. Since then, we have become much closer and I am always ecstatic and surprised to wake up and see his Escape in the driveway. He always ends up coming home on a different day then planned, and each time I'm just as shocked as the visit before. And as time has gone by, I'm even sad to see him go. If you would have told me when I was 11 that I would cry when I watched his car drive away, I would have told you you were nuts. But that's what we've come to. And watching Danny's car drive away this last time was especially heart breaking. This time he didn't leave just for California, but for Thailand. My big brother and his good friend bought one way tickets to backpack around Thailand and the surrounding islands for a few months. He found his true love in the ocean and is surfing his way around the eastern hemisphere. He hopes to keep going until he runs out of money in Australia, so we'll see where he ends up. As happy as I am for him, I'm still concerned with his safety. I don't know how I turned into mama hen, but I did so every morning and night God listens to me worry myself silly for a good 10 minutes about Danny. So as I lie in my bed listening to "The Great Salt Lake" (and "The Funeral" and "No One's Gunna Love You" and every other song performed by Band of Horses) I am brought back to the peaceful moment I shared with Danny on our cross country trek. It took a long time for me to say this, but I miss my big brother.

Saturday, May 8, 2010


Saturday. Two finals down. Three to go.

I have a yucky taste in my mouth.
I would like to eat some popcorn right now.
I am beyond excited to go home and sleep in my silk sheets.
The word panties makes me uncomfortable.
And I really like these pictures.

All pictures from weheartit.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Final Week: #1

This is a big week.
Calc Final.
Geography Final.
Nieces Dance Recital.
Derek Maybe?
History Timeline.
History Letters.

So much to do.
I should probably get started!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Get Lost.

Tonight I went out for run. I set out with music in my ears and a lightness to my step. I was ready to run for awhile, but I didn't think I'd be gone for an hour. I got lost. I was running on curved streets that I'd never seen before with an eerie mist floating around me. It was ten o'clock at night, and I was a little scared. I didn't know what else to do, so I just kept running. My feet pounded the wet streets one after the other in a sporadic rhythm. My eyes started to play tricks on me, but I just kept going, keeping faith that I'd be fine. Well, just like everything does, my situation got worked out. I ended up on a street that I was familiar with and was able to make my way back. And isn't that how life goes? Corny, I know, but really. Every time you get lost, if you just keep faith, things can will work themselves out, and you'll end up right where you need to be.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Do Work.

Literally. Just did homework. I finished that paper. I know I was going to have in by Monday, but I've been extremely busy. So!

Class 10:30-2:30
Work 2:30-6:00
Study 6:15- 11:45

But tonight, went to small group, went to Target, fixed sunglasses, painted nails, anddd online shopped at Urban Outfitters. If anyone feels like it, they could me a lot of money to spend there. I would not mind.

Here's a little Bible verse that I will leave you with for the night. It's my name's spiritual verse =)

"Early the next morning the army of Judah went out into the wilderness of Tekoa. On the way Jehoshaphat stopped and said, "Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the LORD your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed."
- 2 Chronicles 20:20

P.S. Last night. One of THE most bizarre nights of my life. And I've had a lot of odd nights.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

April Showers Bring May Flowers

This was my beautiful ride home.

This is what happens when Derek and I take pictures and he doesn't cooperate. But I still really love him. A lot.

This is what happens when I do my homework on the floor. Harold Hufflepuff Hopkins tickles my arms and face with his tongue and chews off my leather necklace. Good things he's cute.

Clouds That Weep

190 miles. Twice a weekend. 4 out of the last 5 weekends. This is a lot of miles. Throughout the past nine months, I've made this drive quite a few times, but never as many consecutive weekends as this last month or so. All of those miles are interstate miles. The same road every time. You would think this would get boring, staring at the same scenery over and over, hour after hour. But I love it, especially in the spring.

The first of four weekends, the ground was still covered in snow. The fields were white, pure and untouched by the dirt underneath. The sun glittered across meadows and and frost clung to sleepy tree branches. All of the roadside ponds were frozen into a color that looked more like a Caribbean sea than the mud-soaked pothole that they were. The wild life was scarce, but it was beautiful.

The next weekend things began to thaw. The snow that had been so bright and clean began to show signs of the earth underneath. The roadside lakes stayed frozen their stunning teal. But the most spectacular part of this scene was the birds. The birds came in flocks by the hundreds, thousands! They flew high above the ground, and were merely tiny silhouettes whose wings flapped wildly against the biting wind, and it was beautiful.

The third weekend came after a one week break. The snow was almost fully melted, save the few deposits of brown mud that were yet to turn to water. The trees were completely bare and looked desperately sad, alone in the fields. The birds that had returned from the heated south were now hiding out from the crisp air that wasn't quite sun soaked enough to keep them warm. All of the ditches and and fields were empty and colorless. They blended into the sides of the roads and I felt like I was driving down an empty plane. Like a coordinate on a graph, I was barely aware of my surroundings.

But today's ride home was by far my favorite. Over the past week the sky has been using the air as a straw to suck up all of the extra water. This water has been collecting and filling up the tear ducts of the atmosphere, just waiting for something that would cause the tears to fall. Today that trigger was pulled. Whether it was something happy or sad, I'll never know, but the clouds were ready to weep. There were times when the clouds were sobbing, forcing heavy drops to fall rapidly, making it difficult to see. There were also times when the sky seemed to be simply teary eyed, just small droplets running down my windshield. When the world had returned from its state of either pure happiness or true sadness, everything was calm. The grass had gone from the dull yellow color of in between living and dieing to emerald green of exuberant life. The fields transformed from a dry, cracked, light tan to a rich brown the color of dark roasted coffee. The sky kept its stony gray after the rain quit, and the contrast of sky and grass was beautiful.

Friday, April 23, 2010


Just in case you were wondering, I succeeded at my to-do list yesterday. I did my history letter, e-mailed my professor (I can turn in that paper still for full credit!), went for a run/did ab workout, and crossed everything off.

Today, not so much. Today I felt a little lopsided. It was the kind of day when my brain was filled with heavy thoughts that caused my head to tip forward with their weight. My heart was sinking quickly with all of the emotions that have been building up for days. Even my eyes were downcast and not seeing as clearly, for fear that they would see something that would add to the weight the rest of my body felt. I don't like these kind of days.

But I like when they're turned around. Sometimes all it takes is for me to go to work. Today when I got to Centennial, it was 75 degrees with little wind. It was so beautiful that we couldn't stand to be inside for more than ten minutes. I was sitting on the swings, feeling the weight of my lopsided-ness in its entirety when I looked up to find two girls twirling around the bars. In the warm glow of the afternoon sunlight, I could only see a mess of hair, flying in all directions and getting more and more tangled by the second. My first thought was, Oh no, the moment they get off those swings, they'll be inside in the bathroom coming their hair and teasing it back into place. But then I actually thought about it. These aren't the girls that I see on campus every day. These aren't the girls that are baked golden brown, died bleach blond, and caked in layers of makeup. These are kids. Their clothes are always full of rock dust; their hair is always tangled, and every Thursday their fingertips and faces are a brilliant shade of Cheeto-orange. No matter how many times those boys fall and scrape their knees playing football, they are always up for another game. And those girls probably wouldn't even notice if they fell off the bars and cracked their heads open. (Unless they saw blood, then they'd scream.) Some of them live charmed lives with two loving parents and a safe home that's filled with love. Others are shuttled from mom to dad and back again multiple times a week. But it doesn't matter what their home life is like, or how bad of a day they had at school, the playground is a place where it all disappears. Here is where kids, and grown-ups alike, can find balance.

So after my eyes opened a little more, and I saw these two girls laugh and scream as they flipped and twisted, I felt a little lighter. I was seeing more clearly, and I could feel my head float back to it's normal position as my thoughts became lighter. My heart lifted, and suddenly all of my lopsided heaviness was gone. I felt balanced.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I am sitting here staring at my computer screen. I have been sitting here for 17 minutes exactly. Facebook, my e-mail, Pandora, and my blog are all tabs open on my window. None of these are my homework. None of these are going to help me get anything done tonight. Except my e-mail probably, I missed a due date for a paper by 3 weeks (definitely forgot about that one) so I had to ask if I can still get any credit. I love when that happens. So I'm sitting here listening to music, procrastinating. I have a to do list that flows over one page and on to the back of my blue lined paper. Two history letters, look at Calc homework, run/ab workout, swimsuit poster, put clothes away... Do you know what would be phenomenal? If I loved to do these things. If I loved to every single thing in this world, that I'm lucky enough to be able to do. Like college. So many can't afford it. And here I am, missing due dates and slacking on homework. Or running and people who can't. I am pretty blessed. Maybe someday I will love to sit down and do math problems or write letters to my parents about what life was like in China in the 1700's. Until then, I'll sit here and wish I could do these things:

Go snowboarding.

Go back to the Winnipeg Folk Festival.

Cuddle/Nap with you.

Read books in the bath tub.